Millennium Mom

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Keeping the romance going

Today I shared some tips on "keeping the romance going" on Fox 19 Cincinnati.
I guess I should start off by saying neither my husband nor I are romantics at heart.
We have never "sweet talked" to each other, had special nicknames for one another and so on.
We have also reached the point of "oh don't worry about an anniversary gift, we'll just go out for a nice dinner" stage. But having said all of that, I try to keep our "love life" strong.

It all starts with just talking to one another and never losing touch. Taking time each day to be the best friend to one another, letting the other vent when they have to, pass an idea by you, talk about what the kids did that made them laugh and so on. It is also about telling them how great they are, as a person, father, husband, son and so on. They deserve thanks and praise just like anyone else. We constantly give it at work, but not often enough at home.

The next important thing is to have time away from the kids with one another. As much as "your time" at home is great, it is often interrupted. I can't tell you how many times I have heard one of my girls say "mommy stop talking to daddy, I want to talk to you." It really drives them crazy if "they" aren't in the conversation. So take a night here and there to go out. You figure out what you can afford and what you are comfortable with in terms of frequency. I have never been a "every Saturday night" person, every other or even less frequent works for us, but you figure out what works for your relationship.

If you do do the weekly date night, find a babysitter you love and put her on a retainer. The kids will be comfortable and you don't have to worry about finding a different sitter each week. If you do less frequent like me, plan the dates out well in advance and book the sitters early. Be sure to get the sitters 30 minutes early so you can get ready in peace and feel great leaving the house versus stressed. I also recommend Saturday night vs. Friday. You are just so tired on Fridays and it also means you either don't see the kids, or for a very short period of time which can be tough on them.

On top of date night, I am a huge fan of getting away on a trip without the kids. even if just a weekend away. We take Presidents weekend each year to do this. Three nights away is fine, but it is so refreshing for your relationship. You sleep in, have long meals, take a bath and do all the things that are so hard with three little ones needing loving care.

Finally, make a gift wish list for your husband. Give the guy a break and just list all the things you love, from inexpensive to your ultimate dream. He can refer to this on the special occasions, or even yet those random ones.


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